Obscure Facts
by Lyn908
Summary: AU: Facts and notes relating to my story The Bastard Uchiha. Won't make any sense unless you've read it. Harry Potter xover. Harry's name is Arashi.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Naruto. Shame isn't it?**

**Summary: A cleaned up version of some of my notes for The Bastard Uchiha. Needs a lot of polishing, but I thought it might answer some questions. Just gibberish if you haven't read TBU.**

**A/N: Yes I'm a very bad authoress for not updating anything before now. On a good note, the next chapter for ANN should be up within a week. **

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**Three obscure facts- relating to The Bastard Uchiha **_(Mostly cause I don't want to write three separate chapters for them! -.-; What can I say? I'm lazy.)_

_**One**_

The current laws of marriage are a relatively new concept to Konoha. In fact Konoha's current marriage laws were decided by the Shodai when he took up the title of Hokage. Before Konoha came to be, there was no Hokage, no united shinobi force within Hi no Kuni. The Daimyo was little more than a barbarian, fighting for every scrap of land he could, his samurai defending him. Monks, and priests of various religions roamed the land, never staying in one place for too long. Who was there to say who could and could not be married? Or how?

As such, each clan or miniscule village had their own way of solidifying the relationship between spouses. Some clans stated that a couple had to recite marriage vows for five hours during a spring storm, while others insisted that the ones wishing to marry must obtain the blessing of the families summons beforehand. They also had their own rules about who could marry whom. The Hyuuga's, for example, were a nomadic clan who travelled with their cousins, the Uchiha. They had strict rules within their clan that forbade any Hyuuga from marrying into another clan. Instead their chosen spouse had to marry into their family.

This however caused many problems for the nomadic clan as betrayal became a common occurrence, and it is why the Shodai was able to entice them to join him and his brother on their quest to found Konohagakure. While other clans could marry into the Hyuuga clan, there was no way to ensure their loyalty to them. Thus the Juin Jutsu was born. The Juin Jutsu, a seal that could be placed on the married couples to ensure their loyalty to the Hyuuga, the cost of betrayal, their life. Over time the ritual evolved to what it is today, the seal being used to enforce the rules of the Main House.

Of all the odd rituals and marriage customs once in use, the Uchiha's come to mind as the oddest. At one time, the Uchiha's had one main goal, the same as many nomadic clans. Their goal was to ensure the survival of their clan. With this in mind the only way a couple could be declared man and wife, would be if the woman was pregnant. They went about this in the only way they could. The two would have sexual intercourse for one year(They took breaks you pervs!) and if by the end of that year the woman was not pregnant, they would both move on. However if the woman did find herself pregnant, she was then considered the mans wife. This all changed once the Uchiha's decided to follow the Shodai.

In return for joining Konoha, the Shodai offered the Uchiha's the position of Konoha's police force. All that he asked of them, was that they enforce the laws as well as obey them. As such, they were bound by Konoha's marriage laws as well. However there was one child who was conceived under the Uchiha clans former custom, whose father chose to marry another woman under Konoha's new laws.

Thus it's an Uchiha clan secret, that the first Uchiha born in Konoha, Uchiha Madara, was a bastard. It's an even bigger one that under the old laws, Arashi would be considered the clan heir, and Itachi and Sasuke would be the bastards.

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_**Two**_

Orochimaru first met Arashi during the Iwa/Konoha war. It was two months after his infiltration mission, and the genin had been assigned to deliver a message to the outpost he was stationed at. The Snake Sannin gave him no notice until a skirmish broke out, in which he himself was injured. It was at this time that he summoned Manda, and asked him to protect his comrades. Shortly after, the enemies were dead, and Arashi and Manda were having a peaceful chat, much to the surprise of the Konoha nins present. Manda doesn't do peaceful. It seems that Arashi was incapable of speaking any language but parseltongue when faced with a snake, and Manda is fond of any human that can speak his language. It's difficult for his snout to form human words.

The second time they met, was when Orochimaru tried bribing Minato into letting him take over Arashi's training. An Uchiha that could speak to snakes? Priceless. Unfortunately for Orochimaru, Minato was already quite fond of the young green eyed teen and both told the old man where he could shove it. Orochimaru wasn't amused. Then again neither was Minato. Manda however, had a good laugh at Orochimaru's expense when he was told what had happened. To this day Manda refuses to fight against Arashi.

The third time they met, was when Orochimaru had chosen Arashi as his next test subject. Arashi was one of eleven chosen to wear his Heaven seal, however Orochimaru didn't account just how much Namikaze Minato cared for him. If not for Anko stalling him after she was marked, the ANBU would not have found them, Arashi would have been marked, and he would not have been caught. Arashi was one of only five people that had ever seen a look of hurt on Orochimaru's face, one that unknowingly mirrored his students. He was the only _test subject_ to escape from Orochimaru's grasp unharmed, which was ironic since he was also the one he wanted most. He was also the last to see him in his original body.

Orochimaru still hasn't forgiven him for any of that. Neither has Anko.

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_**Three**_

In the beginning, Arashi had often wondered if his Sensei even liked him, or if the man had simply taken advantage of the situation that he had been presented with. However it didn't take him long to realize, that although stern and harsh at times, the man had truly come to care for his wellbeing. While most would scoff and say that making an eleven year old train for twelve hours straight with breaks only long enough to quench his thirst and wipe the sweat from his eyes did not indicate any fondness on Minato's part, the ones that knew him best could easily tell the difference.

The way that he would insist the boy eat second helpings at dinner instead of simply falling into bed after a hard days work showed he did care. The way he fought so adamantly to keep his student out of the frontlines, and when that didn't work, how he would instead push him to reach new heights in his training, anything to give him an edge, to keep him alive another day. Arashi saw all the subtle ways that Minato used to show his affection, his approval, his pride.

Many wondered at the relationship between student and master, how a boy so young could accept such harsh training without breaking, never complaining or giving up. How could they explain to them what they would never understand? How could they make them understand that it wasn't the fact that he wished to be a shinobi that kept him by Minato's side, but loyalty to the one that had saved him?

While everyone saw the severity of their training, few witnessed the gentleness with which Minato would pick him up off the ground after a long day of training, how he would tend to the raven haired boys wounds, inwardly wishing that he didn't have to push him so far. Fewer still witnessed the patience and firmness he showed him after his first infiltration/seduction mission, the way he would lose sleep in order to stay up with the genin after he woke screaming from a memory that had crept into his dreams.

It was because they didn't see this, that they couldn't understand the single-minded loyalty he showed to the Sandaime. He hadn't done anything special for the boy, after all, it was his Shishou that had gone against the Council to defend him, Minato that had stood against the Uchiha's when they came to kill him. If anything, Arashi should despise the Sandaime, he was the one who let the Council send him on missions no genin should go on, he was the one who had put him in dangerous and compromising positions time after time. Arashi owed the man nothing.

He owed him absolutely nothing. But he owed Minato everything. That's why, on the eve of his mentor's death, when the solemn blonde stood before the fourteen year old boy, holding his newborn son in his arms, he agreed to serve Konoha unconditionally. To respect and honour his last orders and wishes.

Despite their confusing and somewhat twisted relationship they shared, Arashi has never disobeyed any of the Yondaime's requests, whether they were stated as orders or not. Because in the end, Arashi knows that Minato was the closest thing he had to a father.

That's why he'll be the Godaime.

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**A/N2: Yeah, some of this will make more sense once I've posted more of TBU. **


	2. Rough Timeline

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Naruto…yet. **

**A/N: Ummm…yeah I guess this might interest some of you. If not go away. **

**Rough timeline of Harry's age:** _(keep in mind that I'm not counting exact days. It's a _rough _timeline, not the bible. It should also be noted that not all ages will match up with canon. I'm not sure of Sasuke's exact date of birth. Get over it.)_

11 years and 6 months, Minato finds Harry in downtown London.

11 years and nine to ten months, Harry becomes a genin and is placed on a genin team. Minato remains his primary teacher while Yamanaka Inoichi teaches the entire team. Kakashi and Harry begin a tentative friendship.

11 years and 11 months, Harry meets Genma.

12 years, Harry meets Hiashi.

12 years and 2 months, Kakashi is promoted to Jounin, Obito dies

12 years and 3 months, War officially ends, Rin is declared MIA, presumed KIA.

12 years and 4 months, Minato becomes Hokage.

12 years and 5 months, Harry's genin team takes the Chunin exam in Suna and all three pass.

12 years and 10 months, Harry becomes an ANBU in training.

12 years and 11 months, Sasuke is born.

13 years, Harry becomes a full ANBU member.

13 years and 3 months, Minato dies, Harry becomes Naruto's guardian, Kakashi severs ties with Harry, Sandaime retakes the Hokage title, Harry and Itachi meet for the first time.

14 years, Kakashi is approached by the ANBU, Harry becomes an ANBU Captain and is given leadership of squad 2.

14 years and 1 month, Kakashi becomes a full ANBU member, Itachi becomes a genin.

14 years and 11 months, Harry becomes Commander of the ANBU and does most of his field work with squad 1, Kakashi lodges a complaint which is ignored.

15 years, Kakashi is promoted to ANBU Captain, Harry allows him to lead squad 9.

16 years, Danzo approaches Kakashi to join Ne, he declines but doesn't inform the Sandaime or Harry of the offer. Kumo attempts to kidnap Hinata, Neji's father sacrifices himself.

16 years and 9 months, Harry becomes a Jounin.

17 years, Itachi becomes a Chunin, is approached by ANBU, he is only the second Uchiha to have been accepted into the ranks of the ANBU.

17 years and 3 months, Itachi becomes a full member of ANBU.

17 years and 9 months, Naruto joins the Academy, Harry is unsatisfied with his students treatment and withdraws him to teach him himself.

18 years, Harry finally dismisses Kakashi from the ANBU on the grounds of insubordination. Hiashi requests Harry's help with Neji. Harry becomes a mentor(emotionally and intellectually, he doesn't become his sensei) to Neji, Neji and Naruto are jealous of each other for a time until they work things out using their fists. They become fast friends.

18 years-18 years and 7 months, Naruto becomes a genin during this time.

18 years and 7 months, Hiashi requests that Harry train Hinata much to the annoyance of Naruto and Neji. They work it out and Harry and Naruto train with Hinata twice a week.

19 years, The Sandaime declares quietly to his ranks that Harry will be the next Hokage, he and Harry argue over the decision.

20 years and 6 months, Itachi is promoted to ANBU Captain and is given leadership of squad 5.

20 years and 7 months, Kakashi discovers someone he thought was dead isn't.

20 years and 11 months, Itachi massacres the Uchiha clan, Harry has a mission in the Wizarding world, on his return he is given guardianship of Uchiha Sasuke.

21 years, the Hokage gives Harry the duty of discovering the traitors that were working with Orochimaru.

21 years and 1 month, Harry discovers the traitors, the Sandaime revokes his command over the ANBU officially, unofficially he gives the position to someone Harry can control. Harry becomes an Oinin and is told to dispose of the traitors quietly without causing a disturbance, as well as to gather more information quietly.

21 years- 21 years and 5 months, Kakashi's conversation with Danzo is discovered and he is questioned by the ANBU. Kakashi is put on probation.

21 years and 5 months, Harry finishes his Oinin duties and retakes his position as ANBU Commander much to the Sandaime's disappointment. Harry learns what Itachi has been up to.

23 years, the Sandaime forces Harry to quit the ANBU and to start his Hokage training.

24 years, the Sandaime forces Harry to take on a genin team.

24 years and 9 months, Harry becomes the Hokage.

25 years, Sasuke finally passes the Genin exams.

Kakashi is about a year older than Harry. Kakashi is twenty-six when Naruto is twelve. Naruto was born when Kakashi was fourteen. I gave myself such a headache figuring out the ages and such. Oh well, I may add events as they


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Naruto.**

**A/N: Just a couple drabbles I wrote while thinking about TBU. I do have one complete chapter but I'm considering scraping it since it doesn't flow very well with the current chapters. It doesn't seem serious enough for TBU, unfortunately it comes off as very immature sounding to me. The next chapter may take awhile since I may want to run it by a few people before trashing it completely. **

**Kitai Shinsei: I'm considering it. I promise. I even have another one of the drabbles where Kakashi and Genma get along sort of okay. I'm still polishing it though. **

**Lady Gaia: Yeppers! No Godaime Tsunade for Konoha. Not sure if she'll be coming back yet or not.**

**Estheriana: Honey, my updates aren't rare. I could only update one story a year and then you could call it rare. But I think Kitai would kill me if I did that. **

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**Kakashi vs. Genma** _Or various encounters between the two rivals over the years. (Even if one of them was a dimwit and didn't know he was fighting for Arashi yet!) _

Shiranui Genma blinked at the man blocking his way.

"Where is he Genma?"

"What's it to you scarecrow?" He asked suspiciously around a senbon needle.

"I need to talk with him."

Now, Genma felt free to glare. While he was willing to play nice with the Jounin for missions and such, Kakashi and the few others like him had learned early on to keep their mouths shut concerning Arashi when he was around. "Tough."

Kakashi gave him that little disappointed look, the one that made you want to train for weeks on end because you just felt so weak compared to him. How the hell he managed to do that through a mask and with one eye covered he'd never know.

"It's important."

"Is the Hokage in danger?"

"No bu-"

"Is Naruto hurt?"

"No."

"Then he won't talk to you."

Kakashi sighed. "Genma would you just grow up and-"

Genma snorted as he shouldered past the taller man. "Y'know that might hold some more weight with me if you were actually older. But you're not. So take a hike."

"Genma-"

"You're my colleague Kakashi. That's pretty much the only reason I haven't kicked your ass to hell and back for harassing my friend. Get it? My friend. Not yours, not the guy who sells you your damn books. Mine. So stay the hell away from him."

Kakashi stared in disbelief at the man's retreating back. "Yeah… Well….I was still his first! And I'm taller than you!"

Kakashi winced as a passing female ANBU snorted and muttered mirthfully, "Real mature. I'm sure that showed him."

Somehow he just knew Arashi would hear of his humiliation.

* * *

ATIWHITMSSSSS

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"Hey Genma have you seen-" 

"Arashi?" Genma asked as a harried looking Kakashi stopped in front of him. "Yeah, he went that way," he said pointing down the stairwell.

"Thanks!"

Genma waited until Kakashi's chakra had reseeded far enough away that he felt safe. "He's gone now."

Arashi sighed in relief as he cut the chakra to his feet and flipped down to land in front of the older man. "Thanks Genma, I owe you one."

The senbon sucker smiled. "Dinner's on you."

Arashi narrowed his eyes before smiling mischievously. "Sure, Naruto's been bugging me to take him to the new restaurant that opened last week. You can tag along."

"What!" Genma's senbon fell from his mouth in shock as the smaller man turned and walked away casually. Running to catch up he yelled after him, "Wait that's not what I meant!"

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	4. First meeting

Disclaimer: I don't own HP or Naruto

Itachi first met Arashi during the one of the first Kyuubi attacks as the great demon made his way to Konoha.

It was night, and the world had turned chaotic. Everywhere he turned shinobi and civilians were rushing around, even in the Uchiha estates. He was meant to be in bed asleep, but his father was missing, his mother was sobbing, and Sasuke was screeching. So he went looking for help.

Unfortunately the world is a dangerous place for one so young, even amidst the chaos of battle preparation. He was smart, already so close to becoming a genin despite his age, but when someone he should have been able to trust lured him off the main paths, it was only a kunai to Uchiha Masaki's throat that saved little Itachi, compliments of Namikaze Arashi. It was Arashi that personally escorted the five year old Itachi back to his home, into his mother's arms.

Uchiha Matoko proceeded to berate Arashi, calling him a kidnapper and a mistake. Itachi watched in awe as the young man calmly accepted his mother's harassment before asking her if she was quite finished with her dramatics and prepared to act as a Konoha kunoichi should in an emergency such as the one they currently faced. He never forgot that. He was the perfect shinobi in that moment. It was then he decided he was going to be like that man.

It was only later, after the confusion and destruction had died down, that Itachi was able to relate what had truly happened that night. Never had Uchiha Matoko been so ashamed of herself, especially when she discovered that it had been her own brother that had accosted her son and Fugaku related the news of the chained boy found in his cellar. She never gathered the courage to apologize to her husband's shunned son, and to her dying day she was never able to meet Arashi's eyes.

And that was alright. After all, Itachi endeavoured every day of his life to erase the shameful behaviour of his family from Arashi's memory.

That's why as Itachi's blade raced towards her she could find no hate in her heart.


	5. Deleted chapter

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Naruto. **

**DELETED SCENE! I've had this for months, but I decided it didn't fit, but instead of deleting it permanently I thought I'd put it in Obscure facts for everyone to read. **

**Pairings: Maybe Genma/Harry. Mentions of past Kakashi/Harry.**

**Warnings: READ THIS! This chapter contains touchy sexual subjects that may disturb some readers. While I don't describe the sex, it is implied. If you don't like the thought of shinobi's using sex to gain information and such turn back now. If you don't like the thought of a young Harry having sex with a slimy old man don't read anymore. Don't come crying to me at the end that I didn't warn you about it. Don't even bother pm'ing me because I'll just block you. **

Arashi stared stoically at his oldest charge, not even giving his blackening eye a second glance. "What did he do now?"

The nine year old flinched at the cold voice his brother used, his stomach churning with worry. The last thing he wanted to do was disappoint the man.

"I'm sure you're aware of the field trip we had scheduled? To the Hokage tower?" Iruka sighed as he gently shook the young boy in his grip.

"Hai. They were to meet with several Chunin and Jounin who would describe several of the possible specializations available to Konoha nins, right?" Arashi asked wondering who the boy had offended this time.

"That's right," Iruka sighed as he rubbed the scar bridging his nose tiredly knowing that the topic he was going to bring up was a touchy one. Not only for him, but for all shinobi. "Unfortunately one of them was Mitarashi Anko. She was there to discuss possible specializations that sometimes lead to higher positions…including seduction."

Arashi closed his green eyes feeling the oncoming migraine. "Sou ka. I was under the impression that Genma-san and Rika-san covered that topic normally?"

Iruka nodded even though his friend currently had his eyes closed. "He hasn't returned from his mission yet. Hina-san and Takashi-san are still in the recovery unit and Rika was occupied. No one else was available, and Anko-san is qualified…."

"W-what…,"Arashi choked in dismay and trailed off as he took a moment to gather his thoughts. "What exactly did he say?"

Now Iruka winced, wishing that he didn't have to repeat it to the man he thought of as an older brother and almost, almost pitying Sasuke for having to tell him. "While Anko-san was explaining how the seduction corps was an necessary and important part of any hidden village, and how the Iwa-Konoha war was helped along by the work they did…Sasuke chose to speak his mind…"

"Iruka," Arashi said in a painfully tight voice. "Just tell me."

The Academy Sensei took a deep breath before letting it out in a rush. "He said that learning about sluts wouldn't help him attain the power needed to defeat Itachi. That great Shinobi's wouldn't lower themselves to let enemies paw their bodies for sexual gratification!"

Sasuke let his eyes flick upwards, briefly catching the hurt look on his brother's face before the controlled rage returned.

"I see," Arashi said tightly. "Thank you for informing me of the incident, I'll ensure that Anko-san receives a verbal apology in the next few days. I'll be keeping him home from school tomorrow so he can complete his punishment."

Iruka nodded uncertainly. "Arashi… go easy on him. He's going through a rough-"

"I will not coddle him!" Arashi said firmly, green eyes flashing. "It's been over a year, I have tried to be understanding, but this is too much! Thank you again for escorting him home, Iruka-kun. I'll see you tomorrow," he said gently to soften the blow as he shut the door in his friends face.

"Go to your room Sasuke."

Sasuke hesitated. "Aniki-"

"Now Sasuke!"

Sasuke fled.

Sasuke shifted uncomfortably on his bed as the man who he had come to admire entered the room and shut the door. Summoning his courage he spoke. "I won't apologize you know. I'm not sorry for what I said-"

"What do you classify as a seduction mission, Sasuke?" Arashi said as he pulled out the desk chair and straddled it.

"What?" The youngest Uchiha said as he blinked almost cutely. That was certainly not a question he was expecting.

"How do you classify a seduction mission?" Arashi hummed lightly as he crossed his arms over the back of the chair and rested his head on them. "Is flirting enough? Or does one have to go all the way? Heavy petting, or oral penetration? What in your mind constitutes a seduction mission?"

Sasuke frowned in confusion, not understanding where he was going with this line of questioning. "Does it really matter? It's not like it has any real use, right?"

"Sou ka…" Arashi rolled his head to the side, resting it entirely on his left arm as he stared at the uncomfortable boy. "So my contributions to the war was useless?"

"Aniki?" Sasuke asked, even more confused.

"You wouldn't have known, it's classified after all. All seduction missions are, in order to protect us from enemies."

"Aniki?" Sasuke whispered in a scared tone, not liking the hollow voice his big brother was using.

"I was only twelve at the time. Still a Genin. I knew enough shinobi skills to keep me alive, but not enough to raise the suspicion of the target. He was one of the minor Earth Lords who lived near the Tsuchi-Kusa border. As such he hosted many of the injured Iwa nins as they returned to Iwagakure."

He paused for a moment as if he were no longer safe in Konoha, but there at that time, with that man. "The Sandaime chose me specifically for that mission you know. He had a profile created of the Lord. He preferred petite young males, preferably brunets, the darker the better. He liked them pretty and he liked them tight…"

Sasuke sat in horror as he continued on in his empty voice, the one all shinobi's learned to use when describing past missions so they wouldn't have to feel as much.

"One of his retainers was a spy, a former slave from Hi no Kuni that was bought by the Lord to be a bed slave. He rose in favour and was freed and made a retainer of the family. However he was still loyal to the country of his birth…but not loyal enough to do the deed himself."

"Instead he sent word to one of Konoha's outposts that he would be willing to assist in the assassination of his Lord, so long as a Konoha nin was sent in to do the dirty work. So in I went. I was disguised as a virgin slave, fresh from Ame, which no one questioned, as Ame is riddled with orphans and another one would cause no suspicion. Once there I was subjected to the Lords advances. It took weeks before he trusted me enough to let me roam his castle alone. The retainer then brought me exploding tags, tags that I was to hide throughout the castle, keyed to go off at the slightest flare of my chakra."

Arashi let out a bitter laugh as he remembered what he had done. "From there it was a waiting game. I could have detonated them there, with a simple shunshin no jutsu. Shishou had already cleared a path for me after all. It wasn't enough though. I wanted it to count. I had given up a month and a half to that sick bastard, I wasn't going to leave with only a dozen enemies dead. So I waited another week," Arashi smirked here as Sasuke listened with tears streaming down his face. "I waited, and I hit pay dirt."

"A supply route had been taken over by Konoha, many of the nin had been diverted to the Lord's castle. Nearly thirty fresh shinobi, another twenty wounded. Not to mention the Lord and his servants. It was extremely satisfying, the look on his face as I used the shunshin to escape with his retainer. Even more so when I handed the retainer over to the interrogation unit. They let me slit his throat after they were done with him you know. The interrogation unit works closely with the seduction corps after all."

Arashi watched his ward dispassionately as silent tears ran down his face. "Remember Sasuke, that everything in this world is a weapon. No matter how small, how unappealing it may first seem, anything can be a powerful weapon if used correctly. That is why Konoha's seduction unit is famous among the hidden villages. They may do the exact same thing as all the other villages do, but in the end there is one major different between our seduction unit, and theirs. We make sure it was worth it."

**Extra!**

Genma ducked his head down as the Uchiha heir was sent to practise after his tears had been wiped. Silently asking for permission, he stopped the chakra flowing to his feet and swung through the open window to land by his seated friend. "Hey."

Arashi spared him a tired smile. "Hey yourself."

"I heard what happened."

"Ah, so that's why you were lurking."

"I was not! …I was…"

"Lurking."

"Fine," Genma pouted around a senbon. "You want me to beat the crap out of him for you?"

Arashi stifled a snort. "He's only nine Genma. He can't be held accountable for his big mouth."

"Was talking 'bout the Hokage actually. But yeah, I could beat the snot out of the gaki for you if it would win me points."

"You're incorrigible."

"Yeah. Were you really?"

"Was I really what?" Arashi asked as he rubbed his temples.

"A virgin?"

"W-what!?" Arashi sputtered. "What kind of question is that?"

"A good one!" Genma said defensively. "It'll help me decide how badly I have to hurt the old man!"

Arashi was by now quite used to Genma's teasing ways. "Ah is that so? Well in that case you can rest easy, I went through the regular preparation for such missions."

Genma didn't know whether to frown or smile. "So you were deflowered in village?"

"Hai."

Now he did frown. "Who?"

Arashi twitched. "None of your damn business!"

"Oh come on! I'll tell you my first!"

"Everyone knows your first Shiranui!" Arashi snarled.

"Arashi!"

"No!"

"Please!"

"Fuck off!"

"Come on!"

"N. O."

"Pleeeeeeeeeaaaaseeee?"

"Fine."

"Pleease Arashi…did you say yes?"

"Yes."

"So?" Genma asked as he practically vibrated with joy at getting his way with the man he had fallen in love with years ago, forgetting entirely that he was supposed to be annoyed that he wasn't chosen to deflower him. Now if only it were so easy to get him to agree to a date….

"Hatake Kakashi," Arashi said with a grimace of distaste.

"What about him?" Genma asked blankly, not understanding what the bane of Arashi's existence had to do with his first sexual experience.

Arashi shook his head not believing that the man was that dense. "Hatake Kakashi was assigned to deflower me."

"Oh…OH!" Genma's senbon fell out of his mouth as he moved back to the window. "Excuse me."

"Where are you going?" Arashi asked in disbelief. After all that he just takes off?

"To kill a copy cat."


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my twisted little plot.**

**A/N: Keep in mind that this is an AU fic, Madara's whole history is twisted since the storyline was thought up way before it was revealed. .:pouts:. Besides I don't like how the manga is going now, it seems like Kishimoto got writers block and read a bunch of fan fiction for inspiration. Us fanfic writers have been saying for ages that Itachi wasn't a bad guy but did anyone listen to us? Noooooooooo! Now he made Sasuke all super strong, and Naruto still looks like a weak pansy ass compared to him despite all the training he's done. Next thing you know he's going to save Konoha by falling on Sasuke's dick while they're both naked. **

**Review Replies:**

**Shadowed Tigress: Awww! Thanks for all the reviews! You're the greatest, I'm glad you like TBU despite it not being ANN. **

**TheEveningStar: Thanks, I'm glad you can stick with the complicated storyline unlike other people. **

**Estheriana: Cannon reasons are out of the picture. While some of them are originally included, such as the failed coup the people behind it are totally different. **

**917brat: Keep in mind that it's technically not a scene in TBU. I'm not that fond of it, it doesn't flow well with Arashi's character at all. I'm glad that someone was able to like it though. **

**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed!**

* * *

**Five Ironic (and not so Ironic) Similarities and Dissimilarities**

**Between Uchiha Madara and Namikaze Arashi**

The similarities between Uchiha Madara and Namikaze Arashi are as numerous as their differences and only acknowledged by those not too blind to see them.

**One**

While it's true that they are both firstborn bastard children, their desires when it come to the Uchiha clan differ greatly. While Uchiha Madara retained the right to the Uchiha name through his mother, Arashi had no such comfort. Madara flaunted his clan name with pride where Arashi got down on bended knees and thanked his shishou for giving him his own to use. Fugaku didn't quite know how to feel when that piece of news got back to him.

**Two**

Both bastards obtained their Sharingan earlier than most would have in their situations.

Both Sharingan's emerged during assassination attempts. Both mastered their bloodline within two weeks of it's emergence. Madara through the thirst to prove himself, Arashi due to the fact he didn't know how to turn the damn things off until Minato saved him and would have died of chakra exhaustion had he not learned to lower the output sent to them at will. It still embarrasses him that it never once occurred to him to just shut off the flow of energy rather than lessen it. It's also revealing of their true characters that Madara used his doujutsu so much that he went blind and was forced to steal his younger half brother's eyes from his still conscious body, while Arashi only uses his once in a blue moon.

In fact he used them so rarely that in a rare fit of anger he once offered to carve his own eyes out with a spoon if it would just make Obito stop bitching like a little girl for once.

Obito did stop bitching, as well as the rest of Minato's shocked team, but not before frantically telling him to keep his damn eyes where they belong. The thought of explaining why to Fugaku exactly why his son had plucked his own eyes out of his head would have damaged him for life. Literally. Ironically that conversation did more to bring the distant cousins closer than months of Minato's nagging ever did. Years later Arashi reflected on how ironic it was that Rin's transferring of one of Obito's Sharingan eyes into Kakashi also seemed to transfer his past hatred with it.

**Three**

It's a well known fact among the Uchiha that Uchiha Madara possessed the Mangekyou and killed a comrade to do it. It's what gave him the power to take over the leadership of the clan despite his bastard status. The fact that Namikaze Arashi also possesses it is a secret that is only known to three people. One is dead, the second is Arashi himself, and the third is unknown even to Arashi. Minato is unsure just what traumatic event unlocked the Mangekyou in Arashi but each possibility is chilling and haunts him to the day he died.

Had he bothered asking Arashi his fears would have been greatly been put to rest. After all magic and fate had bound him and Voldemort together tightly since his very first breath, and in that one single moment he _had_ cared about Voldemort more than anyone else in existence. It mattered little to his bloodline that he what he cared about was that Voldemort _had _to _die_. Shame he wasn't born a priest rather than a shinobi or wizard.

**Four**

Once Arashi and Minato discovered just what the Mangekyou was, no easy feat considering how zealously the Uchiha's and the Council guarded it's secrets, Arashi swore to him that he would never use it unless he had no other choice. He kept that promise to the end. Arashi only used the Mangekyou's three special abilities only one time each.

He finds it rather ironic that he was able to use them on the person that caused his Shishou's death. Unfortunately Madara didn't appreciate the ironies of the moment.

**Five**

Uchiha Madara's father hated him with a passion. He thought of him as a cocky upstart who should have saved the world a lot of pain by strangling himself with his own umbilical cord. That didn't stop him from rubbing it in everyone's faces that he was the father of _the_ Uchiha Madara, especially when his bastard son claimed leadership of the clan. It was only when his youngest child lay dying on the ground, his eyes carved from his head by the hands of his eldest son, and he heard the wind howling as the blade approached him that he fully realized his folly.

Where Madara's father despised him, Uchiha Fugaku wanted nothing more than to accept Arashi as his son. However due to pressure from his clan and the Council he was unable to openly acknowledge Arashi as his son. He did the only thing that he could to help his eldest as he watched Arashi ascend through the ranks without the support of the clan. He ordered that they not interfere. That was what they wanted after all, for Arashi to have no one to rely on but himself. It was no one's fault but their own that their hatred only drove him higher, to heights unreachable to the rest of the Clan. So then when the day came that he died on the blade of his eldest _legitimate_ child's sword, he could only curse the Clans superstitions for he had no doubt that had Arashi been accepted by the Clan and living in the compound that the slaughter that was about to take place wouldn't happen.

To the day he dies Itachi isn't quite sure if he imagined the quiet chuckle and apology to his son that escaped his father's lips as his life slipped away. He only knows that he hopes for the sake of his father's soul that the apology was for Arashi, not him or Sasuke.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Harry Potter.

Love, Hate, and Everything Inbetween

Uchiha Itachi loves Namikaze Arashi. Loves him completely and totally because when he looks at him he can almost see what a real family should be like. His aniki is a proper shinobi, despite what the Clan says. Arashi is all honed steel and fluid grace, but he's the only one Itachi has ever met that can switch between being a cold emotionless killer, to a stoic yet compassionate being. He sees him guiding Naruto through the motions of using a kunai or walking him to the Academy in the mornings and his heart cries for all the times that were lost between them. He can't hate the blonde child though, because while Arashi is his aniki, Naruto is Arashi's son in all the ways that count.

Uchiha Sasuke hates Uchiha Itachi. He hates how he was the Clan's favourite, how much of a bastard he was, and how he willingly killed the entire clan instead of finding another way. But most of all he hates Itachi for loving Arashi. Because between the two of them he doesn't know which to hate more, Itachi for having the Aniki he wants or Arashi for having Itachi's unwavering love and loyalty that should have belonged to him.

Namikaze Minato hates himself. He hates himself for sacrificing his son. He hates himself for teaching a traitor. He hates himself for abandoning his students, both of whom are still so full of hate. Most of all, he hates himself for not having the strength to live for those he loves.

Namikaze Naruto loves a lot of people. He has no choice. If he doesn't love then he'd hate, and nothing would sadden him more than the disappointment in Arashi's eyes. He saw what Itachi did to him after all.

Namikaze Arashi hates Sarutobi. Make no mistake, his loyalty belongs to the Hokage but never to Sarutobi. If he were ever asked he could only say that he hates him for living while everyone else dies.

The Sandaime Hokage hates himself for the exact same reason as Arashi. As a Hokage it is his duty to put the good of his people before his own selfish wants. Had he only stepped in Minato would have lived and he would have died. Minato would still be Hokage, Naruto would be safe, Arashi wouldn't work himself to death, and Kakashi would have wised up and been taking care of Arashi. He hates himself for letting Orochimaru go rather than killing him when he had the chance. He hates himself for not convincing Jiraiya to stay permanently rather than letting him make his quick stops to check on Arashi's training and drop off cute frog plushies for Naruto. He hates himself for reinstating the Council once Minato was dead. Most of all he hates himself for not keeping his promise to Minato. Arashi is too good for Hokage. He deserves better. But he has no other choice.


End file.
